From Charm to Control: My Story of Stalking, Surveillance, and Survival

The Realtor Who Looked Like a Safe Bet
When I met him, he was working in real estate. He looked like stability; successful, professional, put-together. After months of divorce fatigue and feeling unwanted, his attention was flattering. It felt safe.

Until it wasn’t.

The Pattern
We dated off and on. Every time I tried to leave, he circled back, not casually, but obsessively. Calls, “coincidental” drive-bys, and constant check-ins. When I dated someone else, the pressure intensified.

When we were together, the control deepened; arguments over nothing, demands to access my devices, surveillance in my own home. These weren’t random habits. They were tactics. Men like this are masters at dismantling women from the inside. I call them Feminine Energy Harvesters, because that’s what they do.

Pregnancy, Marriage, and the Switch
The relationship escalated. A pregnancy. A rushed marriage. And then, the violence.
Physical intimidation. Sexual humiliation. Control disguised as “rules.” The cycle repeated until there was almost nothing left of me to fight back with.

The Best Friend Who Saw Behind the Curtain
When a close friend moved in, the private nightmare became visible. He couldn’t hold the mask anymore. The mood swings leaked into daylight, and suddenly I wasn’t the only one saying, “This isn’t normal.”

That outside witness shifted everything. It forced the truth into the open.

Escalation
Even after he moved out, he lingered—through cameras, unexpected visits, intimidation. The violence escalated, paired with paranoia. A trusted friend finally said the words I hadn’t let myself admit:
“If you don’t leave soon, you won’t survive this.”

She was right.

The Beginning of Hell
By March 2022, I asked for divorce. We agreed to sell the house and part ways. On paper, that was the end.

In reality, it was only the beginning of another chess game.

This blog reflects my personal experiences, perspectives, and lessons learned. It is not intended as legal advice or evidence in any ongoing legal matters. All names and details are shared only as part of my story, for the purpose of advocacy and education. The views expressed here are my own, written to help others recognize patterns of abuse, understand strategy, and feel less alone in their journey.